Do You Realize?

A lot of posts today...this is the last and probably the best. McSweeney's has posted some short stories that people have written about songs. This is my favorite.

"Do You Realize??"
by the Flaming Lips.

BY TED JILLSON

- - - -

I went to visit my son, Nathan, in Portland, Oregon, in September of 2002. He had been living there just a few months and was loving it. He wanted me to come out and play, so I did.

As we drove through the sights and sounds of Portland, Nathan, realizing he had a captive audience, and it was his dad, no less, began, in his haphazard way, to cram CDs into the player. He would rustle through his large lap books gorged with CDs while driving full tilt through Portland traffic to feed the player with Flogging Molly, the Mountain Goats, Less Than Jake, and whatever ska was new and undiscovered by everyone but him. He was giving me massive sound bites into where he was, but they were coming so fast, loud, and heavy that assimilation was impossible.

Then he said, "Oh, I think you'll like this," and he put in Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots by the Flaming Lips. He played all the CD, unheard-of in his attention-deficit world. While the tracks progressed, he told me the story he had heard involving the album, how the band had befriended a Japanese woman while touring overseas and how, later, they began getting cryptic e-mails from her sisters regarding her state of health. The translation in the e-mails was very inexact, but it appeared she was dying, or perhaps was already dead, from a heart ailment of some type.

Nathan related the story over the soundtrack that was the CD. "Do you realize—that happiness makes you cry? Do you realize—that everyone you know someday will die?" The richness of the tale about transcendence and journeys, life and death, left me profoundly shaken, almost exhausted. He saw my reaction as he swerved along and gratefully paused a few beats before slamming in Toys That Kill.

During that week with my son, he showed me many things in "his" town, we ate some marvelous cheap Mexican food, went to see Wilco at Roseland, but through all this, I continued to ponder this beautiful story I had been assaulted with.

I returned home, very weary, very satisfied from my short visit.

December 2, Nathan went to see Beck and the Flaming Lips in Portland. One week later, Nathan suffered a brain-stem bleed and was dead within five days.

Going through his belongings, I found two copies of Yoshimi.

Mid-2003, I received some correspondence from a girl that worked with Nathan at the bakery. She said that he had remarked the night of the concert that he would love to appear onstage with the Flaming Lips. The concert really jacked him. She went on to say that the Lips had just played another concert in Portland and that she and a few other girls from the bakery had, oddly enough, been invited onstage during the show. Wayne Coyne was told the story of Nathan, and in her correspondence was a show flyer signed by him, stating simply "Nathan RIP Do You Realize?," and several freehand drawings of the cover of Yoshimi.

Do you realize—that everyone you know someday will die?
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes—let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Civil Disobedience

I wanted to stop posting about my political views , but I am pretty enraged right now...watch this video.

Taking the Leap

I quit my job and I'm moving to San Diego. I accepted a position at the company where I had my internship in 2003. I guess they liked me enough to recruit me back 2 years later. I am starting on October 24th, which is like a minute away. I am sort of nervous because I have lived in Lexington my entire life and I am hesitant about moving from the very comfortable environment I have created for myself to the fast paced, crazy-vain, plastic part of the country. However, I am in serious need of change like this as I have already stated.

The job is going to be much more satisfying. I will be constantly challenged, and surrounded by people who are smarter and better than me than me in many ways, and get to travel all over the world. I mean...wouldn't you leave.

Please come visit....I promise we will have a great time.

1 Year

Just celebrated 1 year of exclusive courting with my beloved Anna. I don't believe I have ever felt this way for a person before. She makes me feel good about myself and I have never been more comfortable around anyone else. It feels nice to let your guard down every once in a while. We have already been through more than most couples have to go through in 5 years of a relationship and I am proud to say we fought through it.

She gave me this awesome cookbook that I have wanted for a while.

I already made the focaccia bread from it and it was a'very tasty. Much more tasty food to come.

In Touch with Nature

Getting away was just what I needed. Visited a much missed friend in Asheville, NC and I was most impressed about how the town is nestled in the beautiful Appalachian Mountains. I really miss how the mountains give you the feeling that you are so small, young, and insignificant. When I am gone these mountains will still be standing tall and immovable.
I also had the chance to get back to the AT and see Max Patch, one of my most favorite areas in the southern section of the trail. You get an 360 degree view and you can see the Great Smokies looming off in the distance. It is really beautiful and it makes me sad when I realize that the only thing that can truly harm these mountains are humans. The number of people on this planet will soon force all of the great areas such as this into either a wasteland or a strip mall. We are slowly squeezing all of the beauty out of our home. And for what? For money? For a belief that we are the owners of this planet? That all species with smaller brains that live here are ours to manipulate as we please?
I think we have the wrong idea about who we are and what we are supposed to be doing here. We are a selfish race. We create all of these methods for making ourselves comfortable and sustaining our meaningless lives as long as possible no matter what the quality or uselessness. I am not trying to say that I do not value human life and what great things can come of it, but I think we should be a little more conscious about what we are doing to the place that by a miracle of nature, gave us our life in the first place.

Why are we always out to conquer? Are our penis' not large enough that we need to rape the earth instead of thinking of other ways to satisfy our women? There are many significant changes we need to make and there are people trying to make these changes, but I think it might be too little to late. It still makes me feel a little better knowing the effort is there.

H-h-h-health C-c-c-conscious

Up until about a couple of years ago I really had no regard for the food I was eating. I would consume almost any damn thing that was simple, tasty, and made a nice firm turd. I really think my concern for what was in my food and how it was produced manifested once I became more involved in the preparation of my own food and became more informed about the agriculture industry and their chemical solutions that harm the environment as well as human health. Working in a hospital environment you see a lot of the common health problems that stem from one's diet. The number of heart catheterizations that occur in one day in just this town would simply amaze you. People just stuff their arteries full of butter, sour cream, ribeyes, and pork rinds on Monday, and get put on the operating table to get themselves cleaned out on Wednesday. While this is not always the cause of the need for a heart cath, it is still a major cause of this sad vicious cycle that we press upon ourselves.

I once had a co-worker at another job who just ate atrociously. His health was quickly deteriorating, and was diagnosed with diabetes along with becoming ill and missing work all the time. I asked him why he doesn't improve his diet and he said, "God has a plan for us all." What the hell kind of crap answer is that?!? I answered, "God also gave you a brain to make decisions of your own", but in a mind that closed not many new ideas can get in.

Open your faces people and let it in.

Black Power

This is one of my most favorite photos. It is a symbol of integrity.



They were suspended for their actions, but they were right. Damn the white devil!

Sad Day in the Neighborhood.

The Dame manager is bought out. He was the only reason good bands came around to this little redneck town. I think that is another nail in Lexinington culture coffin. Goodbye arts and abstract thought....bring on the intelligent design.

Stagnation Station

So Bush was making a speech last night concerning the damage done to New Orleans, and apparently he has the gall to mention gas first. I don't think we need to be concerned with gas when people have no homes, food, electricity, internet. Who gives a shit if Johhny SUV can't drive the mile and a half to work. Maybe they should give public transportation or walk or ride a bike. Damn....these people are really struggling and we are worried about our comfort. I guess that is the capatilist way. All for me and who gives shit about them.

On that note I am going to try and take this site away from politics. It seems that everything that happens in politics these days I do not agree with. War, religion, idiots...they all just make me angry and life is to short to waste time thinking about trivial aspects that humans have created for themselves. Not to say I will cut contact with the outside world, I just won't waste my time refuting it here on my piece of internet.


Praise Jeebus!!!