Weekend or Week Beginning?

Long gone are the days that I can party all weekend. Many important occasions were crammed into this one weekend and my brain is emotionally and physically tired. I said goodbye to one friend, celebrated another's one year wedding anniversary, witnessed the power of narcotics over a once great mind, and enjoyed a small display of Pre-Freedom Day fireworks in a friends back yard.

I was apart from my honey for the majority of the weekend so I used my free time for some reflection on what I want to do with my life now. I have a strong urge to remain on this "normal life", but that is not what I want. I am trying to design a plan to have the security and financial freedom of a normal life while experiencing, seeing, feeling, smelling, and being as much as I can. Unfortunately I have anxiety about my future. I believe it comes from a childhood riddled with divorce, mediocrity, and not having a father figure. (I had a father, just not one to take example from.) Here are a some things I want to accomplish in my personal life:

• I have a strong desire to find the perfect mate, that someone with whom I will never be apart from and share good times and bad times for the rest of my life. (Not right this minute, but that is an idea from my more romantic side.)

• I want to be able to provide every possible opportunity for my offspring. I also want them to have pride in their father which I never really took in mine. To accomplish this today you have to play the game, which I find petty and boring.

• I want to build a house to shelter my family in. I will trust it more and know every inch of it. "Sustainable living" is still an alien word to the present developers.

• I want to minimalize. Posessions cloud the soul from real feelings.

• I want to surround myself with nature.

• I want to create art. Any form will do, but my guess is that it will be music.

All of these are small compared to a lifetime so I would like to think I set realistic goals. I have a few things to do before I start on this "life project", but I like the idea that I am seeing life moving forward in a positive light.

Welcome to Oblivion

On Fark of all places I stumbled across this.

I don't understand how the economic growth takes precedence over someone's home and way of life. The case in question was for developing hotels, offices and health spas. It seems like more money for those damn white devils again. When will they learn that they do not deserve anything. We are not special and money is not life. It sickens me that this is what we have become. Last night I was taking a walk around my neighborhood and I was looking around in awe of what we have created. Our roads, our electricity, our Internet. During my AT hike I was without all of this for six months and I was happier than I had been in years. We have created all of this for our convenience, but all it has done is become a hindrance. A hindrance on a fulfilling life. People spend their whole life in front of the television and can go their whole life without doing something meaningful. It is such a burden on our planet to house all these worthless beings. I can barely stomach our defilement of our planet and our souls.

Reflection

I watched a DVD my friend made last night that was basically a slide show he made from his AT hike last year. First off, he is an amazing photographer. Second, he put the slideshow together very nicely. My only complaint is the bad pictures of me, but oter than that it is pretty awesome. I have to say it brought back some pretty vivid memories that made me want to drop it all and get the f out of here. I got a new book recently that is giving me the bug to get out to the wilderness where I belong. Seeing that slideshow and reading that book is only making playing this part more difficult.

In other news Lyrics Born is the shit.

Deja Vu on the Peace Corps

“Give a person a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a person to fish and he eats for a lifetime.”

Girls Blog Better

I find myself reading and enjoying more female blogs than any other. I don't know what it is, but I guess it has something with me being raised by my mother.

I had a long interesting weekend of hardwork and escape. There it is again. Escape. A much needed element for enjoying life in present society. I am jealous of Anna getting to live in such a cool place. She has an outhouse and is living in a one room cottage with more deck than space in the house. I really want to get out of my suburban life and get out to the country. People always give me the wackiest look when I say this, but it is looks like that that help motivate me to get the hell all up out.

Just Picked Up and Left

With the old server being down for so long and having so much to say (now being forgotten) I decided to make my home elsewhere. So here it is.

This is the first summer in a couple of years that I have spent in Lexington. In 2003 I was doing my college internship at Qualcomm in San Diego, and last year I was on a walking tour of the Appalachain Mountains. It is definetely more fun being elsewhere. I think I will have a lot of time this summer to work on my golf game, and to finally get some of the stuff done around my house that I have always wanted to do, like paint stuff, and build stuff, and stuff and stuff and stuff.

I think I am not alone when I say that this town has dried up for me. Sure I have a job and most of my family is here, but I need something more from life. I need adventure, and excitement, and escape. I know escape sounds weak, but I think it is necessary when you look around and see what our society is doing to itself. I want to get out of Kentucky and all of it's backwards ways. I thought once of moving to North Carolina with so many of my glorious peeps, but that is just farther into the abyss.

I need to pull up my roots and go west.