Weekend or Week Beginning?

Long gone are the days that I can party all weekend. Many important occasions were crammed into this one weekend and my brain is emotionally and physically tired. I said goodbye to one friend, celebrated another's one year wedding anniversary, witnessed the power of narcotics over a once great mind, and enjoyed a small display of Pre-Freedom Day fireworks in a friends back yard.

I was apart from my honey for the majority of the weekend so I used my free time for some reflection on what I want to do with my life now. I have a strong urge to remain on this "normal life", but that is not what I want. I am trying to design a plan to have the security and financial freedom of a normal life while experiencing, seeing, feeling, smelling, and being as much as I can. Unfortunately I have anxiety about my future. I believe it comes from a childhood riddled with divorce, mediocrity, and not having a father figure. (I had a father, just not one to take example from.) Here are a some things I want to accomplish in my personal life:

• I have a strong desire to find the perfect mate, that someone with whom I will never be apart from and share good times and bad times for the rest of my life. (Not right this minute, but that is an idea from my more romantic side.)

• I want to be able to provide every possible opportunity for my offspring. I also want them to have pride in their father which I never really took in mine. To accomplish this today you have to play the game, which I find petty and boring.

• I want to build a house to shelter my family in. I will trust it more and know every inch of it. "Sustainable living" is still an alien word to the present developers.

• I want to minimalize. Posessions cloud the soul from real feelings.

• I want to surround myself with nature.

• I want to create art. Any form will do, but my guess is that it will be music.

All of these are small compared to a lifetime so I would like to think I set realistic goals. I have a few things to do before I start on this "life project", but I like the idea that I am seeing life moving forward in a positive light.